Have You Ever Wondered
by Jewels Light
Summary: This is a response to del kaidin's essay challenge. Kagome ponders quite a few topics while writing her essay and yet only comes up with two answers. Inuyasha is an idiot, and yes... she is!


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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha and company, nor do I own the idea, although how it was put together is mine. Sadly I don't think that means I own it.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is in response to del kaidin's HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED... challenge. Its been floating around in my head for quite awhile, and finally decided to let itself be written. Hopefully, you like it as much as I did. As always, read and enjoy! ^_^

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Have You Ever Wondered...

By: Jewels Light

Kagome sat at her desk glaring down at the blank sheet of paper in front of her. Or rather, it would have been blank if not for the four large, underlined words at the top... HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED... This was an extra credit assignment given to her in order to make up for some of the frequent absences her adventures in the past caused. The essay could be on any subject and of any length, as long as it addressed the question.

Her pen tapped out an irregular tattoo as her mind drifted. Every subject that she entertained always seemed to lead back to one thing... Inuyasha. She was so lost in her thoughts that she never noticed when she began to write.

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Have you ever wondered about destiny and free will? I have. Did I have the choice to enter the well house on my fifteenth birthday or was I just following the script that Fate had written? Could I have bypassed the God Tree and gone straight to Kaede's village or was it necessary for me to rub his ears and see the peaceful expression on his face as he slept? Did I have to be such a klutz and shatter the jewel or was it just some cosmic joke at my expense? Will he ever grow up enough to allow me to remove the rosary or is he doomed to eat dirt for the rest of his life? If I chose to, could I remain here in my time, even after all that I have seen and done, or must I return to the past even if I no longer wish to do so? Must I watch as he is dragged to Hell and out of my life forever, or do I have the ability to change that outcome?

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Have you ever wondered about loyalty? I have. Is it possible to be too loyal? Yes it is, if that loyalty leads to death for the wrong reasons. As I see it, if someone wants you to keep a promise that leads to Hell just because of something that wasn't completely in your control to begin with, then yes, you are too loyal... and you are an idiot. Or remaining loyal to one who has given your greatest enemy unbelievable power and yet tried to kill your closest companion, then yes, you are too loyal... and you're an idiot. 

Have you ever wondered about reincarnation? I have. How is it possible for a soul to belong to two very different people and yet be the same? If it is the same soul, shouldn't the two incarnates be identical? I don't mean in looks, but in disposition. Could the reincarnate be the polar opposite of the original owner of the soul? How many people have had these questions, but have also had to face down their predecessor over an arrow aimed at their hearts? I have.

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Have you ever wondered about love? I have. How could a love that gave both parties such comfort be so easily twisted into betrayal? How could you fall in love with someone who insults you all of the time? How could you not fall in love with someone that will protect you with his very life? How could you claim to love someone and yet want them to change the very basis of who they are? How can you claim to love someone after only knowing them for a few hours, and only then because you had kidnapped them in the first place? How can love grow and survive if you are constantly grabbing someone else's ass or requesting children from another party?

Have you ever wondered about soul mates? I have. I don't mean the storybook Prince Charming and all the stuff that comes with him, but the other half of yourself that you weren't even aware that you were missing. Someone you can laugh with and someone you can cry for. The one that could make you the happiest girl in the world just by holding your hand or giving you one of those rare smiles that make his eyes light up. The only one who can make you so angry that slamming him into the ground seems like the only option available. The only person capable of reducing you to tears. The person whose fragile heart you want to protect from the cold, harsh world and the one that you would gladly give your life for, if it meant that he would continue living. To put it simply, the person that had become your everything.

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Have you ever wondered how your are supposed to go on smiling when the one that you love, loves someone else? I have. Knowing that when he looks at you he may be seeing someone else and having to pretend like it doesn't tear your heart in two. Knowing that you aren't his first choice, and yet you can't bare to be away from his side. Of all these questions, this is the only one that I can answer completely, and without more questions. I can smile and laugh because he needs me. I can remain at his side because he needs me. I can do all that I can to insure that he is happy and that he smiles often because there is nothing else that I **CAN** do.

Have you ever wondered if you were in love? I have, and the answer is yes. I am.

Kagome never knew when she fell asleep. The pen, in her lax hand, left a trail of ink across the paper as she tried to get more comfortable in her seated position. And that was how Inuyasha found her a little later. His eyes softened slightly at her slumped form, even as he shook his head. He couldn't help but wonder why she insisted on returning to this time just to work herself to exhaustion. He couldn't count the times that he had found her just like this, and had moved her to the bed, as he was doing now. He gently brushed a stray curl from her face before straightening up and moving back to the desk. His eyes fell on what she had been writing, and the last line jumped out at him. With a growl, he picked up the paper and began to read, needing to know who she was writing about.

He read the essay twice before dropping it back on the desk. His mind was awhirl with thoughts that he couldn't quite process. That being the case, he reacted as he always did when emotions were involved, he ran, but not before he glancing fondly at the small form on the bed. Then he jumped out the window and vanished into the dark.

When the alarm went off, Kagome fumbled for it with one hand while the other covered the huge yawn that escaped her. She swung her feet off the bed and stretched one arm high above her head and the other out to the side before standing up. She was halfway to the desk, to read what she had written the night before, when she froze in her tracks. When had she moved to the bed? Her dark eyes moved to the open window and the curtains fluttering in the light breeze and had her answer. She hadn't moved, she had **been** moved. With a slight smile and a shrug, she picked up her paper and groaned when she saw the ink trail.

"Ugh...looks like I'll have to rewrite it." She wondered just what the teacher would think when he read this. He would probably assume that she made it up, and that was fine by her. Then something scrawled at the very bottom of the page caught her eye, and she had to squint to make it out. 

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Have you ever wondered what someone as worthless as me did to deserve you by their side? I have.

"Inuyasha..." she whispered as a single tear slid down her cheek, but it did nothing to dim the brilliant smile on her lips.


End file.
